Risky business

I realized that I haven’t blogged in a while, but I have a lot going on in my life that I haven’t wanted to process. At least not now. I just don’t want to deal with all of the stuff and I wonder when I became so risk averse.

I have always been a little quiet and cautious, especially in my younger days. It was the residue of some dysfunctional situations in my life. I didn’t really know what to do or say or think, so I retreated.But I learned how to articulate my thoughts and found my voice and for a while, I was fearless.

But now, the old anxieties and doubtful feelings have resurfaced and I know that I need to deal with the situations at hand,but I don’t want to. I think because the possible outcomes could be extraordinary that the enormity of the moment has me a little paralyzed. But great reward demands great risk. Love and peace and happiness is risky business, so I guess I need to get myself together and take the risk. It’s worth it. I’m worth it.

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